Letters to Lula

Happy Fourth of July

2011-07-04T10:56:00.000-04:00

Here's a little pic for my 5 followers! LOL This pic is from a trip to the beach in April! She's looking more like a toddler and less like a baby. sniff.

Three Months Ago

2011-05-17T10:48:00.001-04:00

I know according to my blog, I haven't arrived home from China yet. Believe me, we are home and I do have every intention of completing my blog for all 2 of my followers.

However, I just realized that THREE MONTHS ago, I was getting on a plane to Newark, then Beijing, and finally Chongqing. That's a lifetime ago! I didn't know what great hosts/friends, my adoption sherpa M and I would have in Chongqing. I didn't know what an amazing province travel group I would have. I knew my daughter would be amazing but didn't know how amazing. I didn't know how much more I would love China. I didn't know how different my life would be three months later.

Happy Hour

2011-03-03T17:11:00.002-05:00

Happy Hour at the WS

Goodbyes

2011-03-02T16:58:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was a sad day. My sister Sue left and so did the majority of our travel group. Three families had their CA two days after the other 16 families. A fourth family is being forced to stay another day because of a mix up with the baby's visa. Thank goodness our guide caught it before they left the country.

My sister had to go back to work yesterday. So we all said a teary goodbye to her in the lobby of the hotel. Then, we went downstairs to try to catch our other travel mates downstairs. Unfortunately, they were already on the bus. We shared one of the most incredible moments together as three families became parents for the first time and one became a family of four. They are special people. Can't wait to see them again.

We headed upstairs to see the fourth family in our Chongqing group. They left this morning and we offered to take the kids off their hands so they could pack. The baby was sleeping so we the company of their six year old for the afternoon. She was just what the doctor ordered! We wandered around Shamian Island, stopped at the playground, and had snacks. Then returned to the room watched a new show(to me) on the Ipad and played games.

Final dinner was at Cow and Bridge. It was good but after 12 days of absolutely delicious Asian food, we are craving hamburgers.

Reading Already??

2011-02-28T18:14:00.000-05:00

We've been family for a week!

2011-02-27T18:18:00.001-05:00

The pictures are small but upload times are quick. Seems to be a faster connection in Guangzhou than Chongqing. Since Monday, I haven't taken many pictures. Thankfully my friend M is an awesome photographer and will be sharing when we get back. This is Lula's sleepy face. She's a very observant girl and will watch everything.

First bath wasn't a hit but the snuggling afterwards was pretty wonderful.

This girl loves to sleep with NO blankets on her.

We've been in GZ since late Friday night. Saturday we ate breakfast at the buffet. All of us we tired, grumpy and hungry except for the fabulous Lula. M and I hadn't really eaten since breakfast the previous day. Went straight to to comfort food, I had the scrambled eggs, french toast breakfast I felt like a human being again. Lula even ate a few bites of egg!

Saturday was the medical day. Let's just say I'm not a big fan of big groups, nor people who don't show respect for other countries. After waiting for people to change money, we walked a few blocks on Shamian island to get visa photos taken. L had just fallen asleep so she has the sweetest look on her face. Next was the medical exam. WHAT A MADHOUSE! I was really stressed that day and thank goodness for M and a new friend C. They both have adopted from China and get it! They know what do and not to take it personally when I, or J, get a "little irrational". My girl weighs 22lbs! She's actually on the American height and weight charts! She is wearing 12 months clothes and I hope she will for a awhile. We haven't seen her crawl but she likes to stand. I forget the height though.

In the medical exam, the dr asked me what the mark was on her forehead. I didn't know. Four or five doctors later something was written on the report and we were sent on the the hearing exam. Wish I'd asked the guide to come in and translate for me. I really think it's a mongolian spot but who knows.

Afterwards, the group decided to celebrate at Lucy's, an outdoor restaurant that has western food and more importantly, cold beer. Had no interest in the western food but boy did the beer taste good!

We found out that some of the babies in the other group had the flu and several went to the emergency group so we are trying to quarantine our kids as much as possible. This is fine with us because the four Chongqing families get along so well and love to eat Asian foods.

Once couple, B and S, have adopted the most beautiful little 2 year old girl. They've absolutely amazed me with how much they've grown as a family during this trip. Lula is infatuated with B!

The other single mom J and I have decided that we were twins separated at birth! We have so much in common. The only bad part is that is that she lives on the wrong coast! Her friend C is fabulous. So funny and smart.

The third family J,M, Miss Z and Miss Aare wonderful also. The daughter Z is left-handed and has been working on chopsticks this trip. Since I am left-handed also, I've been helping her. She was completely successful at the Cow and Bridge. J and M are wonderful people. Very kind.

Really can't say enough good things about my smaller travel group. Was a bit worried since, we skipped Beijing.

After we returned from Lucy's, Lula met her Aunt Susan. She flew in from Singapore to spend a few days with us. I think I can safely say that Aunt S is wrapper around L's finger! :-)

Sunday, we decided not to go on the group tour. Lula was way over tired Saturday as she had spent much time entertaining us. Her personality is really starting to show.

After L's nap, we took a taxi ride to a market in GZ to wander around. Oh did I mention Aunt S brought a stroller! What a godsend for a child who loves to look around and SEE EVERYTHING!

When we returned to the hotel, we took the red couch photos. Lula was not in silks but was rockin' a fabulous purple hood, polka dotted onesie and gray pants. Momma looked like she'd been walking the streets of GZ.

The rest of the big group went to a Cantonese restaurant. Sue, M, Lula and I found Sue's favorite Chongqing restaurant. Another fantastic meal.

I was falling asleep trying to get Lula to sleep so Aunt S sent me to bed. Actually read a few pages in a book before almost falling asleep. Sue brought Lula in and although sleepy she wanted to play for a bit. She's been sleeping almost 9 hours now. Think we wore her out yesterday! :-)

Baby Candy

2011-02-24T18:24:00.001-05:00

Lula and her Ayi

2011-02-23T15:38:00.003-05:00

The Worst and the Best

2011-02-23T01:43:00.000-05:00

Thanks for all the comments about the video. Haven't been able to get through the first minute or so myself. There are about 5 other clips from the day. Don't know when I'll be able to watch them.

Last night was hard. This morning was hard.
At the Civil Affairs board, Lula and the other babies, got to see their orphanage Mama again. I am so grateful to her for all the love and attention she gave our children. It was hard to see someone else make your child laugh, when you can't. To see your child so happy to see someone else, when all I see is sadness. It's normal. It's expected and it is oh so hard. I can't take it personally but it's a lot of work not taking it personally. Melissa described this process as an alien abduction for the child. It's pretty apt description.

After our provincial meeting was over, my travel group decided to have a special dinner in the Chinese restaurant in our hotel. Just as we arrived at the restaurant, I saw blood on Lula's face. Her nose had started bleeding. Thought I got it stopped and it started again, and again. After finally being seated in our dining room, she started crying and the nose started bleeding again. So I took her back to the room. Of course the elevators skipped the floor I was on for about 10 minutes. The waitresses tried to cheer her up and it worked for about thirty seconds each time. Finally we made it to the room. After about an hour of crying she finally conked out. Really there are no words to adequately describe watching your child grieve the loss of everything she's ever known.

To make myself feel better, I decided to order room service. Really wanted a Tsing Tao but the only one they had was Bud. I ordered two! :-) Of course, when they didn't give me a bottle opener and I had to call someone else to open the bottles!

This morning, she woke up about 6:30 still sad. Didn't want a bottle at all even though she had to hungry. She's not eating solid food for me yet so she needs the nutrition and hydration. I had pry her jaws open and force the bottle in and she ate. Yeah, she's a little stubborn but this is something she can control and I get that.

At the hotel breakfast she smiled a few times but she didn't really want me to see it. After breakfast, our group went to Eling Park so I used the Ergo for the first time. Made carrying my Buddha belly baby a LOT easier. For a kid who likes to see everything, facing me was a little difficult but she finally figured out an angle that satisfied her. We attracted a lot of attention from the older men and women in the park. Loved hearing them say that she was beautiful etc etc but it was a bit the crowd was a bit overwhelming for her so I walked to a quieter area away from the group. A small group of women came up to us. Unfortunately I understood enough to know that they were saying the mongolian spot on her forehead and eyelid were not good and unlucky and they were trying to cover the spot with her hair. I know she didn't understand what they were saying but it hurt. I know it's the way the culture is and no harm was truly meant but it hurt.

Later we went to a small Three Gorges Museum in the park. Of course there was a shop where we could purchase paintings of Chongqing at the end of the tour. As I walked back to look at a picture, Lula leaned backwards and I bent forward then stood up, and she giggled, really giggled. So we did it again and she giggled and then snuggled up to me. After a few more times, she started sticking her tongue out. This is something she did with her ayi yesterday. The best feeling in the world.

Later, while Lula slept in the baby carrier, we ate a fantastic meal at a local hotel. Had to put a napkin on her head so I wouldn't spill anything on her. It was interesting using chopsticks and eating sideways but I managed! The third best thing about this trip is the food.

The second best is my travel group.There are only four families in our travel group. Because M and I weren't with them in Beijing, it felt a little strange at first, that trying to fit in. They really are wonderful people and we shared, and will continue, to share, something so special and amazing. We became parents together. Watching everyone else, the first time their child smiles, or laughs, holds on or snuggles is incredible. Because after all the years of waiting, the paperwork, the tears, the fears, the renewals of all the paperwork, we are finally parents.

Meeting Lula

2011-02-22T17:07:00.001-05:00

The Last Few Days

2011-02-22T15:22:00.004-05:00

Well except for the pics from Monday, I haven't posted a whole lot. It's about 3:45 am right now and I can't sleep. I'm trying to get some of the facts down but will have to be more detailed later. Melissa has a lot of the pictures from the last two days and we haven't had time to share them yet.

The weekend was absolutely amazing. Our hosts spent 12 hours each day showing us around Chongqing, feeding us etc. On Sunday we went to the Dazu Stone Carvings at Baoding i

Nead the end of the carvings, the character Fu, luck, is carved. If you closed your eyes, turned around three times and touched it you would have good fortune for the rest of the year. Both Melissa and I did. Of course, my year has been pretty amazing so far!

That evening we went out for Chongqing Hot Pot with our hosts and other family members. It was in a 5 start hotel and we had a private room set up for a banquet. Another meal from heaven, Peking Duck, a delicious whole white fish, MaPo DoFou(to fu). Spicy Chongqing salad, beef, salmon, we even had some delicious Chinese Cabernet! Many toasts and cheers were made through out the evening.

After dinner we went to see the night lights of Chongqing. Apparently we missed some of the lights by about 30 minutes but the river view was beautiful.

Our hosts were absolutely amazing. We'd never met before but by the end of the weekend, I felt like we had friends for life. M and I are already talking about when we come back to Chongqing.
To do this for complete strangers amazes and humbles me. I hope that one day I can repay them in kind. Also hope to remember to pay it forward.

With our guide;s help, we hope to invite them to dinner tonight or tomorrow night.

We arrive back at the hotel late Sunday. I'd thought I'd have a message from my guide as the rest of the group arrived sometime on Sunday but no message. On Monday morning, Melissa and I went to the buffet breakfast and found some of my travel group. We'd been the only white faces in the hotel all weekend, so it wasn't difficult!

From them I got the details for Family Day. Our guide gave me my travel approval and I learned that we would meet our daughters at the Civil Affairs office that afternoon but first would need to go the bank to change money for the orphanage donation and provincial fees. Going to a bank in China is an interesting experience. We had to change quite a bit of brand new 100 US dollar bills into Renminbe, or yuan. I walked out with a stack of bills about 5-6 inches high. After lunch, well I couldn't really eat but I sipped on some yogurt, we went down to the hotel lobby.

We then had to go to a different bank to deposit the orphanage donation. Why we couldn't change money and deposit it at the same bank I do not know. Since we were number 15 in line so our guide said he would wait and we could go to Starbucks. I think it was some time that we all needed. Only one family in our group of four had adopted before but we were all so nervous and excited, and terrified. The last moments of our wait, we spent laughing and talking. Then Michael came back to take us to the Civil Affairs Office. As we got off the elevator and turned the corner, there was Lula, and the other babies, being cared for by their ayis, nannies. She stared at me as we walked by.

Not sure I'm ready to write about our Family day. It's still too overwhelming but I'm going to try to upload a video. Not sure where the video went so I hope to have it uploaded soon

Family Day

2011-02-21T13:05:00.002-05:00

Saturday

2011-02-19T17:27:00.006-05:00

While I was in the US, I contacted a friend's former exchange students about Chongqing. So we would know the best of what to do and where to go. Well unbeknownst to us, she contacted her parents and they offered to show us around. What a treat!! We left the hotel at 10 in the morning and returned at 8:30 pm.

We started out going to downtown Chongqing, their Times Square. Shiyu's mom was also born in the year of the rabbit so Melissa and I took pictures in front of the rabbit. Shiyu's friend, Amber joined us to translate since Shiyu's parents do not speak English.

Next we went to the place in Chongqing where the Yangtze and Jialing rivers meet. It was rainy and a bit foggy so it's hard to see where the currents meet in the picture.

Next was lunch in the new Old Town. This was dumpling heaven! I don't have pictures of it but Melissa will share. We at pork on a stick, some sort of really spice soup, differently spiced dumplings. Melissa and I were STUFFED but it was difficult to stop. Oooh I forgot about the fresh lychees! We are just in food heaven.

We wandered around the area after lunch and saw people making noodles and rice treats

Here's Melissa and I with Shiyu's parents!

I'll post about the rest of the day soon because it ended with hot pot! We were still stuffed from lunch but that didn't stop us from eating. We were joined by some other family members and two young girls took turns being shy and practicing English with us, one even singing doe a deer.

Slept well last night. We were both so tired that we even declined a foot massage. Today is another busy day . I'll to finish blogging about the weekend tomorrow(Monday) morning. By Monday afternoon I may be too busy! :-)

Saturday Morning

2011-02-18T17:24:00.004-05:00

It's early Saturday morning. We arrived at the hotel about 10 last night. I didn't sleep that well but hopefully will sleep better tonight and tomorrow night. After that I don't think I'll have much opportunity to sleep. :-) Today, Melissa and I are going to tour Chongqing with the parents of an exchange student/daughter of a friend of ours. Hoping to stay awake!

Chonqing still had lights everywhere since the Spring Festival ended Thursday night. Lots of red lanterns and blue and white lights hung everywhere.

This is still so surreal. There is a crib in my hotel room and on Monday I am being given a child.

Chongqing

2011-02-18T08:39:00.004-05:00

We have arrived after 24 hours of trip. On our way up to the room, a drunk convention attendee, tried to hit on us. Hmmm on hte cusp of motherhood and I still got it! lol

Even though the room we are in tonight is temporary, there is a crib in the room. As we drove to the hotel, we saw the civil affairs building where I will meet my daughter on the 14th floor about 3am EST.

More later. We are tired.

Leavin' on a jet plane!

2011-02-17T04:26:00.005-05:00

The day is finally here. Two months after referral, I am going to China today and returning with my daughter in two weeks. I've packed and repacked the suitcase and still can't get it down to 44 lbs but it is under 50, I think. The house sitter is arranged. Cat is staying with Grandma and Grandpa. Sure hope he doesn't spend the whole time hiding under furniture.

My friend M is joining me. So grateful to her, and her husband and son. My sister will be meeting us in GZ. She used to live at the White Swan where we'll be staying. Will be interesting to see how it's changed '96.

Wish I could tell you how I feel but except I just don't know. After 4 years 3 months, 3 weeks and four day since my LID, log in dayte, it's difficult to process the jumble of emotions surging through my body. Four days from now I'll be holding my daughter. FOUR MORE DAYS.

Not much longer.

2011-02-15T22:17:00.003-05:00

No one tells you about the terror you feel. I mean the dream that you've been waiting for has finally come true. Then it hits... Your life will be completely different. Her life will be completely different. The picture I've been staring at is a real living being who's life will be turned upside down. The second guessing starts. I'm too old. I'm not ready. Then there's the last times. Last time I'll see a movie by myself. Last time to go out without a babysitter. Don't get me wrong, it's exciting too. But I didn't expect the second guessing I'd be doing. Would have been nice to have an update on size and weight. So I'm guessing on sizes and what to bring and wondering how I will ever keep it to 44lbs and under.

Finished teaching last week. I teach at year round school so I've been off since then. It's strange that I'm trusting my students to someone else for 10 weeks. Not sure I like that. Who am I if I'm not teaching?

While I've been busy doing stuff, I don't feel like everything will be ready. Actually I know it won't be ready. Thanks to some wonderful friends I'm more ready than I was. And if I email a list my friends will come get everything ready. I'm worried that my 14 year old cat will not be able to deal with the cat -sitter. He's people shy. I worry about forgetting all the Chinese I learned. I worry about being gone. I worry about not being a good mom, I worry about getting to know my daughter. Forgetting some important document that will prevent me from adopting.

What I'm not worried about is my travel companion! She's awesome. My sister will meet us in GZ. Thankfully she'll bring me any baby stuff I've forgotten.

It will work out. I know this. The terror is what I'm feeling right now.

LAST LID

2011-01-24T05:32:00.003-05:00

It dawned on my yesterday, that today would be my last LIDiversary before I meet my daughter. 56 months since Log in. Although really since I received my referral on 12/17, these last two don't count as much. The wonderful part is that I'd forgotten how many months I'd been waiting and had to go back and count. No I haven't forgotten the wait. Don't think I ever will.

I've been quiet that last month even though my mind has been filled with all sorts of posts and I think I'll regret not documenting my thoughts at this time. Maybe I'll write some soon.

On Wednesday, my daughter will be 13 months old. I will also have my first baby shower that afternoon. My current, and former, schools are combining forces to celebrate with me. I can't wait.

I'm also filled with joy for a friend of mine who shared some very special news with me today.

Dear Michael

2011-01-23T19:49:00.002-05:00

Dear Michael Buble',

I want to thank you for your song "I Just Haven't Met You Yet". When I first heard it, I thought that it captured that hopeful one gets as one ponders the possibility of meeting "the one." However, it became my theme song for the wait. When I first made the connection between the lyrics and the wait, I was tempted to go out and by the cd. However, I didn't. Often times the song played on the radio as I was thinking about my daughter and wondered who she might be, where she was from etc.

In October, I was certain I would be getting my referral. Then in the early morning, I read an email from my agency stating that my LID would definitely not be getting referrals that month. Through my sobs, I heard the words "And I know it will all turn out" and it gave me some hope. Even though I'd heard the song frequently through the previous few months, I didn't hear it at all until December 12th while working out at the gym. First time I heard it in almost two months and it was from start to finish. Wondered if it was a sign of some sort. Also had a sense of peace from hearing the entire song. Little did I know that somewhere on the other side of the world my LSC would be stamped on my birthday three days later and five days later, I would see my daughter's face for the first time. In less than a month, I will hold her for the first time.

"Oh, you know it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid to give so much more than I get
Yeah, I just haven't met you yet

I just haven't met you yet
Oh, promise you, kid
To give so much more than I get

I said love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love
(I just haven't met you yet)
Love, love, love, love
Love, love
I just haven't met you yet"

Happy 1st Birthday Lula

2010-12-26T07:54:00.004-05:00

Dear Lula,

It started snowing last night. Last time this area had snow on Christmas day was over 20 years ago. But today, your birthday, the whole state is blanketed in white. I love snow and the snow continues to fall. Outside it's peaceful and quiet.

My first thought today was of you. It's difficult to believe that I didn't even know of you nine days ago. Even more that you still don't know about me or your new family. I know so much about you but don't know you yet. But know I picture you here.

Yesterday was Christmas day. You received more gifts than anyone else! It was a bit overwhelming for me. I think my biggest challenge in parenting you will be to make sure that you are not completely spoiled rotten by your aunt, uncle, and grandparents. Your grandpa has even checked google maps to see how far it is from your orphanage to Chongqing.

After our traditional Mexican dinner, we had a birthday apple cranberry pie made by your grandpa. It was delicious.

But also I'm a more emotional today than I expected. I'm thinking not only of you but also your biological family. Wish with all my heart that they could know how much you will be loved.

Your present from me today will be a donation to Love without Boundaries nutrition program for Xiushan Orphanage.

Love,
Ma Ma

Merry Christmas Little One

2010-12-24T21:19:00.003-05:00

Six Pence None The Richer: Last Christmas Lyrics
I feel your heart beating
Inside my own skin
And I think of Mary
In Bethlehem

That night in a stable
Our saviour was born
Yes, we have so much
To be thankful for

On the last Christmas
The last Christmas
The last Christmas
Without you

We're choosing the colours
Preparing your room
For one day; Midsummer
The advent of you

Together we wait for
A heavenly gift
Is winter a wonder?
Enchanted that this is

The last Christmas
The last Christmas
The last Christmas
Without you

See the stars shining for above
Hear the singing
Praise to the Giver of Life and Love
Maker of Beautiful things..

I feel your heart beating
Inside my own skin
And I think of Mary
In Bethlehem

When darkness was shattered
The dawn of God's grace
And the journey'd begun
To the first Easter day

On this Christmas
The last Christmas
The last Christmas
The very last Christmas
The last Christmas (x 3)
Without you

Introducing my Daughter!

2010-12-17T21:18:00.003-05:00

Xiu Si Qin
Born December 26, 2009

The STORK HAS LANDED

2010-12-17T14:42:00.001-05:00

I'm waiting for the call.

THE STORK IS FLYING

2010-12-17T10:44:00.000-05:00

I can't breathe.

Stay tuned...

2010-12-16T17:40:00.000-05:00

Nothing confirmed yet, but a certain stork MIGHT be on its way. Waiting for confirmation from my agency.

Matching

2010-11-29T14:35:00.005-05:00

Rumor has it that matching is occuring. What this means is that they are looking at folders of children available for adoption and matching them with their parents. Here are some pictures from the CC*AA.

So what happens next? I wait until my agency receives referrals. Once they receive referrals, they start calling clients with the news we've been waiting four and a half years to hear. Could be this week or next.

This Week????

2010-11-28T20:56:00.001-05:00

It's Monday morning in China. I hope there is news tomorrow when I wake up, assuming I can sleep tonight. Could this wait really be over????

To all the friend I've Un'ed Before.

2010-11-17T16:34:00.000-05:00

Last Prediction

2010-11-07T11:59:00.003-05:00

Checked China Adoption Forecast to see if they'd updated it since the last referrals. I know 11/10 is not a possibility. I really don't expect a referral until late November/early December. Of course earlier wouldn't hurt my feelings! :-)

Yet Another Update

2010-10-31T12:44:00.002-04:00

Well, my agency emailed Friday and said that my LID would not be receiving referrals this month, which means I will probably not travel before the end of the year. Wish I could adequately describe how devasted I was, but it's probably better not to do so. I'm not looking forward to trying to get through a 6th, yes 6th, Christmas without my daughter. Right now it really doesn't help to know that I am next. I was supposedly next for this month. I'll get over it but it still hurts.
To make my Friday complete, I slipped and fell on the bleachers while leaving an assembly that afternoon. Luckily nothing was broken but I'm sore and am on crutches.
If you don't know me in real life and want to contribute to the 100 Good Wishes Quilt click on the profile link and you can email me.
I'm sure there's more I need to write about but have to attempt to do some yard work! It's just watering my newly seeded yard so shouldn't be to much of a challenge.

The Green Leaf’s Attachment to the Root

2010-10-27T16:51:00.000-04:00

Don’t ask me where to go,
my heart is attached to you.
Don’t ask me where to go,
my passions go with you.
I am one of your green leaves,
my root is deep in your soil.
Waving farewell in spring breeze,
I leave here and go far away.
Whichever cloud I dwell upon,
my gaze is always on you.
If I sing in the wind,
the song is also for you.
So don’t ask me where to go,
my road is full of memory.
Please bless me and I’ll bless you.
This is the green leaf’s attachment to the root.

– Wang Jian

Adoption Update and 100 Good Wishes Quilt

2010-10-24T18:52:00.001-04:00

It's been 59 months since I originally applied and 53 months since my dossier,paperwork, has been in China, it appears that I may actually be next for referral from China. My agency expects to know that dates of the next referral group this week! If I am NEXT, that means I will FINALLY receive a phone call with the name, age, province etc for my daughter!!!! It is not certain that I am next. Needless to say I am an emotional roller coaster. I am also waiting for my approval for my 4th update from the US Citizen and Immigration Service. I have to have this approval to get all my appointments in China and permission to travel. If everything falls into place, I will travel before the end of the year. Yes, THIS YEAR. :-) Needless to say I appreciate any good wishes, prayers etc .

One of the traditions in the China adoption community is the 100 Good Wishes Quilt. It's supposed to be based on a Chinese tradition. I don't know whether that is true but I love the idea of a quilt made of fabric with wishes from all those who have supported me over the last 5 years. It will be a lasting reminder for my daughter of how much she was loved, and will be loved.

The fabric does not have to be for a little girl. It can be something that has meaning to you, to our relationship, or wishes for my daughter.

What is a “100 Good Wishes Quilt”?

Well, to welcome and celebrate a new life, a tradition exists in the northern part of China, to make a Bai Jia Bei (100 Good Wishes Quilt). Friends and family contribute squares of cloth along with their wish for the baby. The quilt is said to contain the luck and energy from everyone who contributed a piece of fabric. The quilt is then passed down from generation to generation.

How to contribute:

Choose a machine washable, 100% cotton fabric. It can be new or used/meaningful. Cut a 7"x7" square (rotary cut) or 8 x 8 square (hand cut). Add a note (sized 5 X 7 or smaller) with your good wish for my daughter, with a small piece of the fabric attached. It can be simple or elaborate, your own words or a favorite poem, quote, recipe or whatever you want to share. Please remember to sign your wish and include your city and state/province.All the notes will be put into an album/scrapbook and when we look through it we will be able to match up the wish and the fabric in the quilt! When my daughter is older she will be able to match up the wishes and fabric to her quilt and share her quilt with her children.

Thank you so much for helping me create this precious gift for my daughter! Your kindness and generosity means more than words can say.

Feel free to google 100 Good Wishes Quilt to find out what wishes might look like.

Here are some online fabric stores I've used,

http://www.quiltshops.com/
http://www.equilter.com/

VERY IMPORTANT
I would love to have the square and wish by November 12, if possible! If I have time I will upload pictures to my blog.

If I know you from the internet, please email me a request for address etc. Let me know your blog etc!

Still waiting-update

2010-10-18T06:06:00.003-04:00

Hmmmm. Once again, still waiting. I sent my request for fingerprints and my grandfathered extension(i600a) last month. As of Friday, the paperwork has still not been assigned to an officer. My local office would have been almost finished by now. My I171h expires at the end of next week. China now requests that paperwork be current when you get a referral. Rock meet hard place.

I may be next in line for referrals. According to RQ predictions, and my friend in Denver, I'm in. The big question is WHEN??? If I get my referral this month, there's a chance that I will be in China in December.

Is it a sign that while I'm writing that all sorts of error messages are popping up?

Hmmmmm?

2010-08-11T17:30:00.001-04:00

Maybe it's time to dust off the blog! Things are starting to get interesting. More later.

45 MONTHS

2010-02-24T06:06:00.000-05:00

45 MONTHS
Nothing more to say really

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T08:48:00.001-05:00

Many in the adoption world have heard and seen the song Merry Christmas by Third Day. On you tube, I found this video. The song writer talks about the adoption wait.

I wish you Merry Christmas

And just in case you haven't seen the video.

Guess how many months?

2009-09-24T06:14:00.001-04:00

Month 33 and 100 Good Wishes Quilt

2009-02-24T06:00:00.004-05:00

Today marks the end of my 33rd month of waiting. I'm hoping that I will receive my referral within the next year. I really do appreciate each an everyone of you in my real life(and cyber world too!) who continue to ask about the adoption! You will never know how much it means to me that you continue to care, pray, send good wishes etc that this process will finally speed up.

Now on to the 100 Good Wishes Quilt. For those of you who are familiar with China, I don't know whether this is truly a tradition in northern China. However I like the idea of a quilt, because it connects the quilting tradition in my family to those of my daughter's country.

With no further ado, here are the details:

To welcome and celebrate a new life, there is a tradition in some parts of Northern China to make a Bai Jia Bei (100 Good Wishes Quilt). When a baby is born, family and friends donate to the child's mother fabric scraps from clothing with a written wish for the new child. A quilt for the baby would be made from the scraps. It is said that the luck, energy and good wishes from all of the families and friends who contributed the fabric surround the child when she is wrapped in the quilt. The quilt is then passed down from generation to generation.

This is accomplished by creating a quilt with each of the quilting squares associated with a specific person and his/her wish. The person sending the piece of fabric also sends the wish on a piece of attractive paper/card for my daughter's scrapbook. The wish can be for good health, some other positive life outcome, a favorite quote..anything that is YOU (the sender). The piece of fabric should be 100% cotton prewashed. The square should be at least 8x8 inches and can be any print you find meaningful. Please place a small swatch of the fabric on the wish card The card can be as simple or as elaborate as you like. With the fabric on the card, we can associate the wish with the quilt square and always know that wish/square was distinctly yours for my daughter.

I'd love it if you are able to contribute to this meaningful project! If you would like to contribute to a square and a wish please send them to me by May 1, 2009.

Thank you so much.

PS This post is for my friends IRL . If there's anyone in cyberworld still reading the blog who wants to participate, please send me an email.

I Wish You Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T00:01:00.000-05:00

It's Official

2008-05-24T06:19:00.002-04:00

I'm a member of the two year club! Woo hoo! NOT!

"The Rainbow Connection" The Muppet Movie
Feel free to sing along. I'll leave it to Kermit to sing...

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,

The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it,
And look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

All of us under its spell,
We know that it's probably magic...

... Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
... Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm s'posed to be...
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Laa, da daa dee da daa daa,
La laa la la laa dee daa doo...

LID 23 Months

2008-04-24T06:37:00.002-04:00

Wonder how thick the dust is now?

MY LID is LEGAL

2008-02-24T08:08:00.002-05:00

Yup it's been 21 months since my dossier was logged in in China. I applied for my singles slot in November of 2005. I think I'm more than half way there.

New Year

2008-02-07T18:27:00.002-05:00

I don't know how many people are still reading my blog since it's been so long since I truly posted but wanted to let you know that the cuurrent prediction from chinaadoptionforecast.com is 6/27/2009. Yippee :-(

Help the Children

2008-02-01T16:12:00.001-05:00

Many orphanages in China need help due to the snows. Please read and consider making a donation.

Hello again,

Welfare institutions in south and central China are having the hardest time dealing with the weather disaster. This part of the country is simply not equipped to deal with extreme cold or heavy snow and ice. The most common critical problems are power outages, lack of safe drinking and cooking water, lack of fuel, diapers and public transportation. In many places where buses have stopped running, our Half the Sky nannies have been walking hours (in one case, 4 hours) along icy roads to get to the children. As conditions worsen, our nannies and teachers are remaining at the institutions day and night. They have given up the idea of going home to their own families for the holidays. They need quilts. They need warm clothing. They need coal, water, disposable diapers and food.

Here are the reports I have thus far, while in-flight. I will send more soon. Where you don’t see a report, either all is well or I don’t yet have information. I will tell you when we’ve heard from everyone. We’ve also given all the directors an emergency number to call when/if the situation changes.

Hunan Province –

Chenzhou has had no electricity or water for six days. They are relying on coal for heat and cooking. The supermarkets and banks are closed. Staff is using personal money for baby food, diapers, coal and water. Costs are rising due to shortages. They have a natural well which, thankfully, is not frozen. Even the older children are helping to fetch water. They have perhaps six days of food remaining. The local government is overwhelmed by the disaster and is unable to help much.

Shaoyang has seen heavy snow every day for 20 days. There is sufficient water and, for the moment, there is power, so the children are warm. However, 5 of 6 power poles have been downed by weather. Only one stands and the institution fears it will fall as well, leaving them without electricity. Much of the rest of the city is already dark. Children and caregivers continue to work and play together. High school students are cramming for exams and trying to ignore the cold. Everyone prays that the power pole will continue to stand.

Yueyang also has no electricity. The one functioning power generator is being used in the children’s dormitory. They are relying on coal heat but the price has tripled in recent days. They are running out of food and have applied to the local Bureau of Civil Affairs for funds to buy more. Our HTS nannies have been walking for hours to get to work, often slipping
on the ice, “even though they try to be cautious.”

Xiangtan has had snow for the past 10 days. The main water pipe is “broken again.” There is no water for cooking right now but they do have electricity, coal and blankets. They are still able to buy food but prices have gone way up. Not all of the HTS nannies can get to work every day. They are keeping the programs going as well as they can and make sure that at least five nurturing nannies are there with the babies every day, along with the institution’s caregivers.

Jiangsu Province –

Changzhou has seen some heavy snows but the director reports that the children are fine. The director says that he’s doing his best to ensure that the children do not suffer. Public transportation is crippled by the snow and HTS nannies and teachers are waiting for hours to catch a bus for home or even walking home in the snowy dark.

Nanjing reports no problems at all despite the heavy snows. I tried to fly into Nanjing yesterday but it was not possible.

Anhui Province -

Chuzhou has both water and power. Only public transportation has failed. HTS nannies and teachers are walking to work. They are leaving home extra early to be there for the children.

Guangxi Province –

Guilin has two broken HTS heater/air conditioners in the Infant Nurture rooms and they’ve asked us to replace. The rooms are very, very cold. They ask for more soft matting for the floors and also snow boots for our HTS nannies who’ve been slipping and falling in the ice and snow as they come to work. They are so ill-equipped to handle severe weather.

Jiangxi Province –

Fuzhou lost power for a few days but now it is back to normal. The snow stopped a couple of days ago but now is falling again. The directors and HTS staff have gathered all the children into one big room to keep them warm. They’ve bought New Years clothes for the children and will have a party no matter how bad the weather. This year, however, the foster parents will stay home to keep the children safe. The institution has enough food and water. They want us to focus on those in more serious trouble and ask us please not to worry.

Jiujiang says they’ve never faced such bitter weather. They desperately need disposable diapers. Washable diapers cannot be dried. They need warm clothes, shoes, gloves hats quilts and warm mats for the floors. They need medicine for infant coughs and colds.

Hubei Province –

Wuhan suffers heavy snows but they still have power. Heaters are working but there is no water for bathing. The local community has offered to take children in for the Chinese New Year and the institution feels this may be the best decision to keep them safe.

Huangshi reports that the freeze is so severe that all heater/air conditioners have stopped functioning. They need quilts and warm clothes for the children. They need disposable diapers. Several HTS nannies have fallen on the ice on their way to work and they need medicine to treat cuts and bruises.

Gathering these reports together makes me think about how careful we have always been at Half the Sky to maintain our focus on nurture and education programs. Ours is not a medical or relief organization. There are many wonderful groups who do that work. Probably the primary reason we’ve been able to accomplish so much and reach so many children is because we’ve maintained our focus on our core mission -- providing nurturing care for children who’ve lost their families..

But a moment like this really cannot be ignored. The tragedy of Hurricane Katrina in the US taught us that no matter how wealthy a country might be, its vulnerable citizens (old, poor, ill, and orphaned children) are the ones who suffer most when disaster strikes. Even as China seems to be entering the first world, a disaster like this is quite simply crippling. We know that orphaned children will be among those who suffer the damage most.

I say this because I think we should break one of Half the Sky’s rules and, if there are sufficient funds raised in the Little Mouse Emergency Fund, we should offer relief (water, food, diapers, quilts, clothing) to any orphanage where children need help. Let’s see how this goes. If people are as generous as I think they might be, we will work with the provincial Bureaus of Civil Affairs in every hard-hit community, and offer assistance to all welfare institutions where there is need.

Please lend a hand, however you can. You can donate to the Little Mouse Emergency Fund by calling us in the US at +1-510-525-3377 or in Asia at +852- 2520-5266 or by visiting us at www.halfthesky.org. Once there, you can click on “Donate Now”
http://give.halfthesky.org/prostores/servlet/Categories?category=Direct+Contributions
or go to http://www.halfthesky.org/help/docs/usdonation-orderform.pdf to download a form to mail or fax. Donations are tax-deductible in US, Canada and Hong Kong.

Please forward this message and tell your friends and family.

I will be back with an update very, very soon.

Thank you!

Jenny

Jenny Bowen
Executive Director
Half the Sky Foundation
www.halfthesky.org

Half the Sky was created in order to enrich the lives and enhance the prospects for orphaned children in China. We establish and operate infant nurture and preschool programs, provide personalized learning for older children and establish loving permanent family care and guidance for children with disabilities. It is our goal to ensure that every orphaned child has a caring adult in her life and a chance at a bright future.

Want to receive our free Half the Sky newsletter, full of stories and photos, via regular mail? Just go to our website www.halfthesky.org and click on "Join our Mailing List."

659,520 minutes

2007-09-24T17:05:00.000-04:00

Six Hundred Fifty Nine Thousand
Twenty Minutes
Six Hundred Fifty Nine Thousand
Moments So Dear
Six Hundred Fifty Nine Thousand
Twenty Minutes
How Do you Measure - Measure the Wait ?

In Paperwork - In Certifications
In Home Study Visits - In Friendships
In Inches - In Miles
In Laughter - In Strife
*
Six Hundred Fifty Nine Thousand
Twenty Minutes
How Do You Measure
458 Days In The Life
*
How About Love ?
How About Love ?
How About Love ?
Measure In Love
*
Seasons Of Love
Seasons Of Love
*

Six Hundred Fourteen Thousand
Eight Hundred Minutes
Could there be Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand More
Journeys To Plan?
*
Six Hundred Fifty Nine Thousand
Twenty Minutes
How Do You Measure The Length
Of the Wait?
*

In Truths That She Learned
Or In Times That She Cried
In extensions for paperwork
and the way we reapply
*
It's Time Now - To Sing out
And hope the The Wait will end
Let's Celebrate
Remember 458 days In The Life of the Wait
*
Remember The Love
Remember The Love
Remember The Love
Measure
In Love
*

Measure Measure Your Life In Love
*
Seasons Of Love ...
Seasons Of Love

WHAT TEACHERS MAKE

2007-09-18T20:14:00.000-04:00

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life.

One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued,
"What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life
was to become a teacher?"

He reminded the other dinner guests what they say about teachers: "Those who
can, do. Those who can't, teach."

To stress his point he said to another guest; "You're a teacher, Bonnie. Be
honest. What do you make?"

Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, "You want to
know what I make? (She paused for a second, then began...)

"Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.

I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can't
make them sit for 5 without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental.

You want to know what I make?" (She paused again and looked at each and
every person at the table.)

I make kids wonder.

I make them question.

I make them apologize and mean it.

I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions.

I teach them to write and then I make them write. Keyboarding isn't everything.

I make them read, read, read.

I make them show all their work in math. They use their brain, not
the man-made calculator.

I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know
English while preserving their unique cultural identity.

I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe.

Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were given,
work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life.

(Bonnie paused one last time and then continued.)

"Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money
isn't everything, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they
are ignorant... You want to know what I make?

I MAKE A DIFFERENCE. What do you make Mr. CEO?"

His jaw dropped -he went silent.

Why I Ate Dinner in my Closet

2007-09-14T21:08:00.001-04:00

Our state has been in a severe drought. On the news this morning the report was that we were two feet below normal. Luckily for us, Humberto was on its' way. At work this afternoon I heard a strange sound. Really I couldn't figure out what it was. Looked outside. Rain. Finally. And it stopped after about 10 minutes.

After I got home it started raining again. What a beautiful sound. While I was making dinner the rain picked up again and then the tornado warnings came. A tornado was heading in my direction. The lightening was striking(200 strikes a minute). I took my plate and beverage and my Rachel Ray magazine to my closet. What is missing from my closet? An electrical outlet and a vent. I also came to the realization that my hurricane, storm and ice/snow kit needs updating. Even though a tornado touched down about a mile from my house, my house and I are okay as far as I know. After the worst of the storm, I sat out on my porch and enjoyed watching the storm. Tried to upload video but blogger wasn't cooperating.

Since it's been raining my day tomorrow will be spent weeding. Anyone want to join me?? PLEASE?????!!!!!

Hi Ho Hi Ho! It's off to CIS I go!!!

2007-09-12T08:53:00.001-04:00

For those of you not intimately involved in international adoption, I'm going to Immigration services to get my fingerprints done again. I remember when I had them done last year. I obsessively and constantly rubbed lotion on my hands for weeks prior to the appointment.

Not so this time. The last two nights I've been weeding in my garden. Last night after looking at the marks on my arms, I realized that it was a good thing I wore gloves! I did give myself a manicure though so my nails look good!

So now off to the dentist to get a permanent crown(hope this one fits) and then off for a fun-filled 6 hour round trip for fingerprints. Have good music and a book on the ipod to fill the time! Now all I can hope is to make it to bowling on time! Yup my average will suffer tonight.

9/11

2007-09-11T06:52:00.000-04:00

In my mind I'm gone to Colorado

2007-09-09T21:11:00.000-04:00

I spent a wonderful Labor Day weekend in the mtns of Colorado.

After some initial altitude sickness I went to a beautiful wedding with my aunt and uncle. The next day my aunt and I went to Manitou Springs and the arts festival. Made some purchases at the Glass Blowers. My uncle stayed back at the house and had steaks and brats cooking on the grill.

On Tuesday my uncle and I met my aunt for lunch and then went on a drive on the Rampart Range. It was a long hair pin curvy 17 mile drive ending at the Garden of the Gods. When we got home I logged into the computer to check in at the airport. Then I made the mistake of checking bloglines and finding out about the four days of referrals. After checking China Adoption Forecast and finding out that my predicted referral is now 2/09. I walked downstairs to see the most beautiful perfect double rainbow that I've ever seen. My aunt said that they hadn't seen one like that in years.

15 Months

2007-08-24T07:09:00.000-04:00

I WILL
Alison Kraus

Who knows how long I've loved you?
You know I love you still
Will I wait a lonely lifetime?
If you want me to, I will

For (and) if I ever saw you
I didn't catch your name
But it never really mattered
I will always feel the same

Love you forever and forever
Love you with all my heart
Love you whenever we're together
Love you when we're apart

And when at last I find you
Your song will fill the air
Sing it loud so I can hear you
Make it easy to be near you
For (and) the things you do endear you to me
You know I will

I will

Love you forever and forever
Love you with all my heart
Love you whenever we're together
Love you when we're apart

And when at last I find you
Your song will fill the air
Sing it loud so I can hear you
Make it easy to be near you
For (and) the things you do endear you to me
Oh, you know I will

Where's the Tooth Fairy when you need her?????

2007-08-23T20:42:00.000-04:00

Besides teeth cleaning, the only dental work I've ever had done was a tooth pulled when I was a pre-teen and my wisdom teeth cut out when I was 17. No cavities ever! Loved going to the dentist. No only does Dr. Z have gorgeous blue eyes but he always raved about how beautiful my teeth were. I know pretty sad huh???? Of course I never got a discount for that either.

While I was in China, one of my back molars started bothering me. Nothing major so I didn't feel the need to go to a dentist in Beijing. Also I had regular cleaning scheduled two weeks after I returned to the US. When the day I arrived I mentioned my sensitive tooth. Dr Z asked the hygienist for the fracture kit. Hmmmmm a bit nervous now. After squeezing and releasing with a bit of pain on my part he mentions crown and root canal because I've cracked my tooth. Not music to my ears at all. My hygienist said well at least you don't have a cavity!!!

To make a long story short today I had a crown put on. At my cleaning when my dentist mentioned a crown, I had to ask what a crown was! Never had to worry about any dental work before. Anyway my dentist rocks! He called me the next day and told me to call him at home if I had any questions. Didn't call him. It took me the weekend to get over the fact that my teeth weren't perfect and schedule my appt for today at 7am. He was awesome. Didn't even feel the shot that number my gums. I do have to say that I didn't realized that a crown meant grinding the tooth to a STUMP to put a crown on. Naively I thought that he would just file a bit and then fit something over it. So the temporary crown is on and I'm gulping down Tylenol and Advil. The doc said it worked just as well as narcotics without the side effect. Can't say I disagree. Any way I left the office with the promise to call him at home if there were any problems. Too bad he's married with four kids. Even if he thought I was a big baby about it, he didn't let me know about it.

After the doc visit I had to take my car to the mechanic again because a warning light was on/ Last week they couldn't figure out what was wrong, today a code came up. Lucky for me it was a problem covered under lifetime warranty. Bad news my mechanic couldn't take care of it, I had to take it to the dealer. Dealer had to order the part and will have it next week.

Too bad the drought has killed the money tree!

DONE

2007-08-21T06:08:00.001-04:00

With a little help from the furminated King, I finished filling out the paperwork for the i600a renewal. Check written to homestudy agency for the update. NO CHECK written to Homeland Security. Can I tell you how glad I am not to have to write a check to them?????? No I just have to wait to be given a fingerprint appointment again so I can make a 4 hour round trip to the western part of my state again and prove to the gov't I am not a crook.

On a side note, the cat has decide he likes a certain gift sent to him, AS LONG AS, he has enough newspaper on top of it.

My Cat is in Love

2007-08-21T06:01:00.000-04:00

After reading about the Furminator on several blogs, I checked out the price and said nope don't need that. Then King Arthur decided to hack up a four inch hairball on some pictures. Saved the pictures and then logged onto Ebay. Six hours later I was the winning bid on a cat Furminator. Above you can see the results of our first session. The King starts purring the second he sees it now.

Teacher in Space

2007-08-08T18:41:00.000-04:00

One of my earliest memories was watching Neil Armstrong walking on the moon on a black and white tv. Absolutely loved watching the capsules land in the ocean and the frogmen going out to the capsule and bringing the astronauts out. When I lived in CA, I babysat a man who worked on the shuttle. My family was invited to view the space shuttle, even walk through a life-sized model. Space flight still fascinates me.

21 1/2 years I remember walking into a SILENT dorm and my roommate walking out and telling me that the space shuttle had exploded. I thought she was joking until I saw the first replay of the lift off and those 73 seconds.

The next time my education class met, my professor led a discussion on how to handle a tragedy in the classroom. Never in my wildest dreams did I really think that I'd really had to deal with any sort of crises. After twenty years in classroom I've dealt with too many. But that's not really the point today.

When the teacher in space program began recently, I was disappointed that I did not meet the new math and science requirements.

Last year in the midst of dossier collection, I went to Space Camp in Huntsville, Alabama courtesy of our state's Center of Advancement of Teaching. What a blast!!!! Pun intended. We were selected for our position. I was a scientist on the space station and had to conduct experiments and then conduct a mission in space. Got to suit up and fly on a cable system which simulates weightless space flight for astronauts. Would do it again in a heartbeat! During that week, we were joined by Grace McAuliffe, Christa's mother. She's an amazing person and her daughter must have been pretty incredible.

Today after my chiro appt, I came straight home. Bummed that the Nasa channel we used to get is no longer on the cable system so I pulled up Nasa's channel on the computer. I could not tear myself away from the screen until they were in orbit.

This picture posted is me after my "flight" in space. I'm standing behind the chair that was Christa's and Barbara's for takeoff.

May the Endeavor and its crew have a successful mission and safe journey home.

Words of Wisdom

2007-08-03T08:20:00.000-04:00

Out of the mouth of an eighth grader:

"You shouldn't pick up frogs if you know they're going to pee on you"

I love morning duty!

14

2007-07-24T11:03:00.000-04:00

I celebrated the end of month 14 in style little one! After work we went for foot massages and I had a scalp massage, then we went out for Peking Duck. 14 months ago I thought I would be home with you by now. While I am not thrilled about the increasing wait, there are a lot of good things that have happened to me in the past 14 months.

attended Space Camp
met some pretty amazing bloggy people
traveled to Austin, Texas to meet some fantastic women and a few husbands
started a part time job where I met co-workers who I hope will be friends for a long time
learned what is important about relationships with people and that if I am going to be a good example, I have to choose to be around people who treat me with respect

worked in China for six weeks-the most amazing opportunity-I'm not certain that I can express exactly what the last six weeks has meant to me. It's going to be very difficult for me to leave in three days
Tomorrow we will visit an foster home for kids with brittle bone disease. It's run by the most amazing couple.

2007-07-09T09:32:00.000-04:00

Well I've been quiet for awhile now! I've been keeping a little secret. Check it out at missbinbeijing.blogpost.com. I think there's a link in my profile.

Out of Review!!!!!!

2007-07-05T09:30:00.000-04:00

Whew!!!! May is FINALLY out of the review room.

Thirteen

2007-06-24T07:28:00.000-04:00

5/24/06 Maybe one more year?????

2007-05-24T06:46:00.000-04:00

The Green Leaf’s Attachment to the Root
Don’t ask me where to go,
my heart is attached to you.
Don’t ask me where to go,
my passions go with you.
I am one of your green leaves,
my root is deep in your soil.
Waving farewell in spring breeze,
I leave here and go far away.
Whichever cloud I dwell upon,
my gaze is always on you.
If I sing in the wind,
the song is also for you.
So don’t ask me where to go,
my road is full of memory.
Please bless me and I’ll bless you.
This is the green leaf’s attachment to the root.

– Wang Jian

I found this poem on the Xiamen Adventure blog. It is in the Overseas Chinese Museum.

To Our Newest US Citizen and her Parents

2007-05-17T06:12:00.000-04:00

Kitty Abuse

2007-04-23T21:50:00.000-04:00

Oh right, leave me alone for the weekend just to meet some ALTS. What??? What's that you said? C1's and the Goob's kitties have a soft place to stay on their computer desk???? Where's the love???? More importantly where are the treats????

Do You Raku?????

2007-04-02T20:49:00.000-04:00

Here are some pics of the pottery I made from the Raku workshop.

Better Things to Do

2007-04-01T19:57:00.000-04:00

Jonni-I am alive and well! Thanks for missing me!

The title of this entry comes from Terri Clark's song "Better Things to Do"

Haven't posted in over a month. Hmmmm what have I been up to???
I don't have tons of time for me since I've been working two jobs. I'm tired and I'm tired of being tired.

learned to knit- so far I've made lots of dish cloths. Gauge? What's gauge?
took a week off work
read three, yup count em, three, books- Thanks S at Written Word
started eating and exercising regularly thanks to a program at my gym.Going 3-5 times a week in my "free" time
lost 11 lbs and 6% body fat- GO ME!
finally used my potters wheel Shimpo Whisper LOVE IT!
fired the pots I made at a raku workshop. What a refreshing day. Even like how they came out! Have I mentioned how much I love art? Creating art is what really makes me come alive. The crafts center where I work is closing for renovations in May. The people, place and the art are so much a part of me. Sometimes I forget how much I need to create.
attended my first group sleepover of the year-bunch of crazy women at the beach-good times
got hired for a temporary job in China
my bowling team is still in first place- made a 3 7 10 split two weeks ago
attempted to weed parts of my yard- may be a losing battle.
received some awesome gifts from my secret pal
discovered I have tulips, and all sorts of daffodils in my yard. Can't wait to see what pops up next.
got my cat worm medicine. Fun-sticking pills down a cat's throat. Got back at him by getting his nails clipped.
been bummed that when all the expectant moms were brought up at our faculty meeting that my name was not mentioned. I've been expecting longer than anyone!! ;-)
had a lovely chat with my neighbor at 6am this morning. With two jobs I'm not home much. Nice to make a connection in the neighborhood.
super glued my hair- yup you heard it right! Nail polish removed did not get it out. Scissors did! Of course it was in front but luckily only a small chunk of hair.
learned that undermount sinks do drop! Keeping my fingers crossed that I can find some one to reattach it

Not sure if I will be making note of any future lidiversaries. Wasn't into the 10th. Not because I'm sad or depressed-although I would have been receiving my referral this month if the time frame stayed the same. :-( Not sure whether I want to keep count anymore. The date serves to remind me of the wait but also of my friends' losses. Besides I've always been a countdown kind of person. At the gym, if I'm supposed to do 15 reps I start at 15 and count down to 1. The future will happen. My life will change. My duaghter's life will change. I just can't keep living in limbo. Right now what I need to do is focus on the here and now.

9

2007-02-24T16:24:00.000-05:00

February 24: Nine months since I've been logged in. Thirteen months since I was selected for a singles slot. Seems like a lifetime ago. The last few months I've really had to fight my way out of the adoption limbo funk I've been in. It's hard to plan for the future with my child when I don't know when she's going to come. For the last nine months I've been working two jobs and all the extra money I've earned is going into the adoption fund. I'm tired of being tired!

If the time line had remained the same as when I initially applied thirteen months ago, I would have been traveling next month to China to meet my daughter. There are a few other reasons why I've been in a funk, perhaps I'll blog about those later.

Although I didn't make the connection until a few months ago, when looking back at the calendar and realized that my friends' mother passed away on the same date. Their father passed away six weeks prior to that. My log in date is bittersweet because the day marks how long I've waited, and it marks how long they've grieved.

Gong Xi Fa Cai

2007-02-19T08:42:00.000-05:00

Gong Xi Fa Cai! Happy Lunar New Year to ALL!My friend K and her daughter, M joined me to celebrate the New Year at our local fairgrounds. The celebration started with the Lion dance and then the Dragon dance. Several local college dance groups performed and later in the morning, the dances were performed by girls adopted from China. Have to say I shed a tear or two thinking that maybe by this time next year, I'll be home with my daughter.

When I was in Singapore just after the New Year celebrations ended, there were many Lion Dance groups traveling and performing(not really the right word) at new stores to bring them luck for the coming year. What a thrilling sight.

Gimme an L

2007-02-11T13:39:00.000-05:00

A little fun meme. A blogger gives you a letter and then you post 10 things you like that starts with that letter. Stephanie gave me the letter L!

Lake Michigan- when I was little we used to go there on the 4th of July for picnic and fireworks
Lawn- freshly cut mmmmm love the smell
Louise-my grandma's middle name
Louisiana-where my other grandma was born. I developed a southern accent on a visit in the 2nd grade
Licorice- red only. Great at the movies
Ling-Ling- one of the first pandas at the National Zoo. My dad brought me a panda stuffed animal after a business trip to DC in the early 70's. I still have it.
Lonesome Loser- theme song for the non prom goers party when I was a sophomore. I may have "misled" my parents about the party ;-0
Laughter- the best sound
Long, lazy vacations- Haven't had one in too long.
Luscious drinks to be consumed on above vacation

Wanna play along? Just leave a comment and I will e-mail you a letter. It’s that easy!

Life in Review

2007-02-09T15:47:00.000-05:00

According to the latest info from my agency, my dossier month is now in the review room. What does that mean? I'm not sure. Until they get to the end of May stack I think my paperwork will be collecting dust on a shelf in a hallway. But once it makes it to the review room will my dossier truly reflect me? They know why I want to adopt from China, my financial information, the approval from my home study agency

Will they know how I
love to listen to snow as it falls?
watch a beautiful sunrise or sunset?
ride a bike with no hands?
love the excitement of whitewater rafting?
cry at heart felt commercials?
love the feel of clay as I'm working with it?
have learned more patience as I've become a more accomplished potter?
delight in a child's laughter?

Yup it's LIDIVERSARY TIME

2007-01-24T13:08:00.000-05:00

Well it's the end of month 8 and it stinks ;-) that I don't know how much longer I'll have to wait.

2007-01-20T08:50:00.000-05:00

You Are Ernie

Playful and childlike, you are everyone's favorite friend - even if your goofy antics get annoying at times.

You are usually feeling: Amused - you are very easily entertained

You are famous for: Always making people smile. From your silly songs to your wild pranks, you keep things fun.

How you life your life: With ease. Life is only difficult when your friends won't play with you!

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Anticlimatic

2007-01-16T22:19:00.000-05:00

Yup I received the infamous Brown Envelope today. I 'd been told that since I moved they wouldn't forward it. Well hmmm someone was wrong. Don't know why but it doesn't seem like such a big deal. My cat didn't even think it was worth chewing!

Yup I got TAGGED! thx Jonni :-0

2007-01-12T19:56:00.000-05:00

Here goes…

A - available or taken: available
B- best friend: My cat Arthur. He's always there for me. Of course it helps that I keep him locked in the house!
C- cake or pie: Hmmmm tough choice
D- drink of choice: Vodka tonic
E-essential item you use everyday: Toothbrush and deodorant (I agree with Dannye on this one)
F-favorite color: Yellow or Turquoise Blue
G-gummy bears or worms: Gummy Bears
H-hometown: Milwaukee
I-indulgence: Haagen Daz Rocky Road
J-January or February: Are they over yet?????
K-kid's names: Waiting for mine
L-life incomplete without: Smiles and laughter
M-marriage date: Did you see A????
N-number of siblings: 1 older sister and 1 younger brother AKA the golden children
O-oranges or apples: For what?? Throwing, eating...????
P-phobias or fears: Dark basements
R-reason to smile: It's Friday
S-season: Spring and Fall cool nights warm days
T-tag 4 people: I think everyone I know has been tagged. If you haven't you're it!
U-unknown fact about me: I know things before they happen. Nope don't see dead people!
V-veggie I don't like: Okra
W-worst habit: I'm very straight with people and am always surprised when they aren't the same with me.
X-xrays: way too many
Y-your favorite food: Fried Chicken esp w Bojangles tea
Z-zodiac: Sagittarius

Come on gals, play along, and pass the tag on to others!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WICKED WITCH!

2007-01-02T06:42:00.000-05:00

Hope

2007-01-01T21:17:00.000-05:00

This post is in honor of my friend, B and in memory of her husband, M.

More later. Just wanted to have this posted on the first day of the new year.

Merry Christmas to all!

2006-12-24T18:22:00.000-05:00

One Year Ago

2006-12-23T16:27:00.000-05:00

One year ago today I received the call that I had received singles slot with my agency which allowed me to start the great dossier paper chase. Tomorrow marks the end of my SEVENTH month of waiting. Wish I knew how much longer I'll have to wait.

Happy Bday to ME

2006-12-15T16:21:00.000-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DONNA, YOU PUP YOU!

Here is your yearly horoscope:

Happy Birthday for Friday, Dec. 15, 2006

You have a personal style that can open up possibilities if you let friends and ideas flow. You will flourish as a result. You might need substantial downtime to recycle and handle what could be tossed on your plate. Don't feel guilty about pulling in and taking precious time alone. Often, you will have many demands. You are entering a new luck cycle in which achievement becomes your middle name!

Even my horoscope thinks I need to relax!

Welcome to the 2006 Holiday Edition of Getting to Know Your Friends!

2006-12-08T21:03:00.000-05:00

You know the drill. Copy to your blog and leave me a comment so I can check out your answers! Everyone has time for a few moments of fun! Don't be a scrooge!!!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Both! Egg nog needs rum and Hot Chocolate a shot of kahlua!

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? I think the elves actually wrap the presents. Santa delivers them and fills the stockings.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Multi colored on the tree. White outside.
4. Do you hang mistletoe? No.
5. When do you put your decorations up? Depends. I think I'm putting them up Sunday.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? My mom's almond sugar cookies. Or the Mexican food we usually eat for Christmas dinner.

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: I remember one year when my sister and I got telephones for Christmas.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? Santa is real but I did notice that his handwriting matched my mom's!
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? No.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? Lots of ornaments. The first ornament is ALWAYS a pink star given to my by my grandma when I was two.

11. Snow! Love it and Dread it? Grew up in Wisconsin. Don't miss shoveling at all. Dread it in NC because everything shuts down.

12. Can you ice skate? I learned how to skate on lake in Greenfield park in Wisconsin

13. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Being together with family and friends.

14. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Almond sugar cookies and Russian tea cakes

15. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Spending time with family.

16. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? LOVE GIVING GIFTS.

17. What is your favorite Christmas Song? Chipmunks All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth. I still have the 45.
18. Candy Canes! Yum

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!

2006-12-06T09:22:00.000-05:00

Today is my dad's 70th birthday! This year he qualified for the National Senior Games in cycling. I'll post a pic when I get home! Pretty good for someone who is halfway to 140! Sure hope you get to go to China to meet your granddaughter before your 71st!

Jake was my dog, my baby. He had to be put to sleep a year ago.

Stupid bugs

2006-11-14T22:22:00.000-05:00

Last Thursday am I woke up with a few bug bites. Don't know what it was but no big deal. By Saturday my fingers were swollen and bubbly. I figured I had aggravated the bites because I wash my hands so much at my part-time job. Sunday no change. Monday went to Urgent Care. I am now on antibiotics, steriods and some sort of lotion for the lesions. GEEEZZZZZ. I don't need this. The meds make me feel like crap! I wake in the middle of the night and have to get ice pacs cuz the itchings so bad. No sleep, yucky drugs. Nope not a happy camper right now. Can't even go to the pottery studio and throw pots. AAAAGH!

I thought of taking a pic but figured no one wanted to see it anyway!

2006-11-12T21:00:00.000-05:00

Another pic of the backyard. Everything was so beautiful until we had our first hard freeze.I'll be working on identifying A LOT of these plants. So far I know I have miniature gardenias, fig and crabapple tree, and a Japanese magnolia.

More house pics

2006-11-12T20:54:00.000-05:00

This is from the back of the house.

This is the mystery tree! I have no idea what it is. Anyone in blogland know the name?

Places and Voting

2006-11-06T22:15:00.000-05:00

Well my dossier is moving closer to the review room! I'll be able to breathe a big sigh of relief if my dossier makes it through review without any questions from the CCAA officials. Rumor has it that Feb, March and April dossiers are being reviewed. There is a good possibility that my dossier will make it through review before the end of the year. Keep sending good thoughts to the CCAA so that my dossier will pass review without questions!

ALSO REMEMBER TO VOTE ON NOVEMBER 7 !!!!!
"The strength of a political system depends upon the full and willing participation of its citizens. " from The United Methodist Book of Discipline

My New House

2006-11-02T20:14:00.000-05:00

Here's the new house! More pics later.

Yup it's LIDIVERSARY TIME

2006-10-23T21:56:00.000-04:00

Well today marks the beginning of my sixth month of waiting! Hopefully it's downhill from here.

Did U Miss Me???

2006-10-22T12:45:00.000-04:00

Yes after weeks of stress and a huge flurry of boxes moving vans, cars, people, pizza and liquid refreshments I am FINALLY moved into my house. WOO HOO!

Lesson learned while moving:

1. I have great friends! My friends who put up with me and helped me move and my new onlinefriends who provided tons of "virtual" support.

2. No matter how many boxes you think you need you'll need more.

3. Keep your house key with you so that when you lock yourself out you won't have to cut through a screen at 9pm and have your friend's seven year old climb through it to unlock the door.

4. No matter how much you've donated to Goodwill prior to the move you'll
find more donations as you unpack the boxes.
5. I am fully capable of attaching washer and dryer hoses. Nothing's leaked... yet :-)

6.My cat is more adaptable than I thought. When I moved into the apt over a year ago
he hid in the box springs for three days. In the house he hid for just two hours.

Moving

2006-10-05T22:17:00.000-04:00

Well I'm in the process of moving to a house and have been busy trying to pack! Woo hoo no more 1 bedroom apt. I will miss the ease of other people fixing everything for me, but I will enjoy having a larger space and a yard. I'll update the blog after the big move.

It's LIDiversary time again!

2006-09-24T08:39:00.000-04:00

Today is the end of my my FOURTH month of waiting! WOOO HOOO. If the time line my agency state right now is correct I have ten months until I receive a referral. WOW!!!
I cannot believe I will be MOM in a year. How amazing is that?????

Big Brown Envelope Envy

2006-09-19T19:41:00.000-04:00

It seems like several thousand people(maybe I've exaggerated a little) in my May DTC group have received the "Big Brown Envelope" from the U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou, China. So when I came home yesterday and found the slip that a large envelope was delivered to the apartment complex office I was a bit excited and a had a goofy grin on my face when I walked in the door.

When I received the envelope I found it was a big, brown envelope that had been "returned to sender". It was a package I'd sent to my Summer Fun GWCA buddy in Texas in late August. Really I don't know why it was returned to sender. It says postage due but I'd taken it to the post office,had it weighed, paid the postage and mailed it. It took them THREE WEEKS to return it to me. Ya think they would have known that there wasn't enough postage when I was in the post office.

Now the BBE is not a big deal because my adoption agency will make certain I get the correct paperwork before I go to China. What it means though is the US Consulate definitely has my APPROVED paperwork. You remember the paperwork I was so stressed about getting?????? It just would have been nice to know the consulate knows I exist! If I don't get it before I move in three weeks, I won't. Apparently they do not forward.

Good news/Bad news

2006-09-06T09:32:00.000-04:00

The good news: my dossier has moved up in line so I'm now closer to the review room. Currently Dec 05/Jan 06 dossiers are being reviewed. Bad news: I read the RQ site and there is an agency that is saying the DEC 05 LIDs will receive their referrals in July '07. I really need to stop checking that site! Too depressing. :-( I received my acceptance to the singles program on Dec 23. If I were pregnant I would be having my baby in two weeks!

One Year Ago

2006-09-04T22:51:00.000-04:00

One year ago this week, I was visiting my aunt and uncle in the mountains of Colorado. Every morning I had coffee while looking at a stunning view of Pikes Peak. Besides being spoiled rotten by some of my favorite people, my aunt and I had a meaningful conversations about adoption. Shortly after I returned home, she emailed me the name and number of a co-worker who had adopted from China. Her co-worker was very gracious and answered all my ignorant questions about adoption. If I had only known then what I know now. In October I began calling agencies and getting on wait lists.

Just Whistle!

2006-08-28T20:57:00.000-04:00

The pottery studio reopened today. My clay whistles were glazed! Yippee. It was a fun workshop and they actually make a decent whistle. The first one is an armadillo. He's my favorite! To make him whistle you have to blow through his derrier. I know a little sick but it's amusing to me! Remember I teach middle school so I am a bit warped.

The second is a snail in case you didn't notice. The last one is supposed to be a ladybug only the red glaze turned brown. Are there brown ladybugs? Well I guess there's one that whistle now!

Happy LIDiversary

2006-08-23T22:20:00.000-04:00

Today is the end of my third month of waiting for my little one! Wish I knew whether it would be the end of the first trimester(wishful thinking), end of the first quarter, or whatever. Regardless, every day is one day closer.

Adoption Timeline

2006-08-22T20:16:00.000-04:00

November 25, 2005 Mailed application to Great Wall China Adoption Agency
December 23,2005 Received the phone call and email stating that I was selected for a singles slot and could begin the paperchase. Didn't know what I was in for at the time. :-0
Early January 2006 Returned acceptance letter and contacted a home study agency
January 23 My i600a(approval to adopt) was received by Homeland Security(USCIS)
Jan-April 2006 Got copies of birth certificates, references, criminal records checks, financial statements, the kitchen sink, guardian letters, medical forms notarized, certified by the Secretary of State and US Dept of State and then authenticated by the Chinese Embassy. Okay not the kitchen sink but wanted to see if you were paying attention
April 4, 2006 Fingerprinting Appt
May 5, 2006 Received the i171h-official approval to adopt which had to be notarized, certified and authenticated
May 19, 2006 DTC Dossier to China All the paperwork was sent to China by my agency
May 24, 2000 LID Log in Date. My dossier was officially logged in at the CCAA in Beijing , China. This is the beginning of my "pregnancy".
June 2006 Wait until referral is expected to be 12 months.
June 2006 Dossier is translated into Chinese
July 2006 Still in translation
August 2006 Out of translation and in line for the review room. It could be in line for quite a few months. They are currently reviewing Nov/Dec 2005. The review room is where the Chinese officials review(shocker huh?) my dossier and decide whether I meet the standards for adoption.
August 2006. Rumors have it that the wait until referral could be 13 months or longer. The process could slow down further or speed up. There is no telling at this point. My wait began on my LID date. When I started I expected to be able to travel in March 2006 and right now it looks like August 2007. As Sandy, a new online friend, said, "Adoption is not for Wimps!"

Just waiting around!!

2006-08-20T10:13:00.000-04:00

King Arthur has gotten a little tired of waiting for me to figure out how to add links. He's wondering when I will get back to my real job, serving him!

Hello from Me!

2006-08-19T09:37:00.000-04:00

Well I decided to join the blogging world today! As you can tell I've learned how to post a photo.

More exciting posts to come!

D